Baby Making 101
by SincerelyCarmillaKarnstein
Summary: Laura finds a Pregnancy Test in the Hollstein Household and curiosity gets to her. It turns out that it belongs to their good friend Emma Swan-Mills.
1. Chapter 1

Laura is running towards Carmilla holding a pregnancy test far away from her.

"Carm, it's positive!"

"What are you talking about?"

Laura shoves it in Carmilla's face.

"There's a plus sign, which means positive, which means pregnant!"

"Well Creampuff, unless you have been up to something involving magic and pregnancies, I doubt that's either of ours."

Emma Swan walks in and takes it from Laura.

"So that's where it went! I wondered what happened to it after I poofed it from Regina. You're a lifesaver, Kid!"

Laura and Carmilla's door gets blown off its hinges.

"You can't run from me, Emma!"

Emma hides behind Laura and Carmilla. All three of them see Regina has her hands on her hips

"Hey, Babe."

"Don't you 'Hey Babe' me!"


	2. Chapter 2

"Emma Swan-Mills, you will _not_ hide behind Laura and Carmilla! You're an adult, so act like one."

Emma's face grew paler than Carmilla's when the pregnancy test was surrounded by purple smoke.

Regina tried to stay composed as she looked at the pink plus sign.

"So when do you we duck and hide, Carm?"

"Now."

The two of them ducked as Regina used her magic to pick up the door and throw it at Emma.

When it "hit" Emma, it made a squeaky noise that you hear from a dog toy.

"Did you really turn their door into a dog toy? And you say I'm the kid!"

"If you weren't pregnant, I would hit you with the _real_ door!"

"Why are you two destroying our place?! Emma, it's great to know we're friends, but Carm and I like our quiet place. Right, Carm? Carm?"

Carmilla had a baseball in her hand and threw it at Emma to test out a theory she had.

Sure enough, the baseball turned into a dog toy version, but still hit Emma in the face.

"Carmilla Karnstein, we do not throw things at my wife's face!"

"But you threw a _door_ at her!"

"It wasn't going to hurt Emma!"

"It almost _killed_ Laura!"

Laura was making her way towards Emma as their beautiful brunettes argued over hitting Emma with what object.

"So are you having a boy or girl?"

"Beats me, Kid. Do you think I'll make it out of here?"

"If you run, she'll find you. Carm always finds me."

"Yeah well, she's a vampire."

"Regina's your wife."

"Enough said."

Carmilla was face-to-face with Regina, "I will throw this damn apartment at Emma if it gets you to leave!"

"You threaten my wife one more time and I'll…" Regina didn't have time to finish her threat before Emma disappeared, only to fall on Carmilla.

"What the hell!"

"Magic's weird when pregnant. Sorry there, Gothic Horror."

Emma decided to hide behind the one that wasn't angry at her, the tiny gay human known as Laura Hollis.

Carmilla used her vampire strength to get both Emma and Regina out of their apartment and into the hallway.

"I would slam the door in your faces, but _somebody_ destroyed it!"

Emma pointed at Regina, "She did it!"


	3. Chapter 3

Carmilla was surprised that Regina carefully pulled her wife by the ear and leading her out like a child by their Mother.

"Fix our damn door!".

Regina waved her hand and the door was fixed.

Laura and Carmilla went to inspect it just in case.

 **xxx**

"How could you embarrass me in front of them?!"

"Embarass you? What about me?! I find out that my wife doesn't have the guts to tell me that she's pregnant?"

"You have been under a lot of stress, so didn't want to bother you."

"Knowing that we're having a baby together won't bother me."

"I just meant that I would tell you when you aren't giving me those "I'm going to murder you in your sleep" look."

"I do not do that!"

"Anyways, this baby is going to change our lives. Henry's already in college and I get to actually truly be a mom, you know? I won't miss out on things the way I did with Henry."

"Oh Emma…"

"First, we are not naming the baby after my mom."

"Of course not! One Snow is enough."

"What if it's a boy?"

"Henry 2.0!"

"No, we are _not_ naming him Henry 2.0!"

"Why not? We love the name Henry."

"I would get confused."

"Okay fine, we'll decide on baby names later! Are we having a baby shower?"

"Yes."

"Are my parents invited or…?"

"We have to invite them or they won't stop reminding me how I didn't invite them to their own daughter's baby shower."

"But Mom's going to go psycho like she did at our wedding."

"Hopefully, not as extreme."

"Uh huh, we'll see."

 **xxx**

"They better invite us to the damn baby shower after destroying our door!"

"Babe, they fixed it."

"But they _caused_ it!"

Laura rolled her eyes, "Are you ever going to let this go?"

"Hell no."


	4. Chapter 4

"You told my mom?!"

"Emma, she found out on her own."

"She is totally going to go all out. Have you seen the list she emailed me? It's longer than Santa's List!"

"You still believe in Santa?"

"Regina, this is serious and I wrote letters to him as a kid, so it's a part of me."

"How have I not caught you?"

"I write it under the covers, duh."

"How long is this list?"

Emma showed her the two page list.

"Some of these must be the same item multiple times."

"Nope! I read it like two times."

"Two? Emma, you barely can sit through an episode of Downton Abbey."

"That's like a billion minutes long."

"It's not a billion minutes, that's just ridiculous."

 **xxx**

"Carm, you are not drop kicking their door!"

"I don't have to do that, one of my enough!"

"Regina is going to kill you and I'm not saving your ass."

"I don't need you to save me."

"Uh huh, we'll see."

 **xxx**

"Like I said, I _like_ Carmilla because she reminds me of me."

Emma saw their door fly past them so quickly that it was like a hurricane blew through and it damaged their staircase.

"See? I told you that kicking their door down was a terrible idea!"

" _You_ seemed to not have a problem with it!"

"That's cause you were trying to _hit_ me with it!"

Carmilla pointed a finger at Regina, "Now you get to taste what it's like having _your_ door destroyed."

"I can just magic it back together."

"Oh hell no you won't!"

Laura sighed, "I tried to stop her, but it's impossible when she gets like this."

"It's alright, Dear."

"I think Emma and Carmilla need some quality time together!"

"Over my dead body am I working with this brat!"

"I can make that a reality for you!"

The two were having a staring contest.

"I'm dead, so I don't have to blink."

"You're such a bitch some time."

Regina used her magic to fix the stairs, but the door was still broken.

"This is going to take forever to fix. You broke it into like four pieces and Regina only got it off the hinges."

Carmilla picked up the one piece of the door with two hands and was tempted to slam it down on Emma's head.

"If you weren't pregnant, then we would have an all out fight where _I_ kick your stupid ass."

"Hey now, my ass isn't stupid because my wife likes it."

"Shut up and help me fix this."

"Not cool."

Carmilla glared at Emma.

"And I thought I was demanding."


	5. Chapter 5

Carmilla and Emma were grumbling the entire time that they fixed the door.

"This is your fault, Swan."

"No, it's not!"

" _I_ wasn't the one that hid from my wife that I was pregnant."

"Magic happened, not my fault."

Regina was fuming, "Are you saying that you're ashamed of what we did?"

"Regina, that's not what I meant."

Carmilla laughed, "You're in the doghouse."

Laura said, "So are you, Carmilla shut-your-face Karnstein!"

Emma nudged Carmilla, "See, that's why you shut up and apologize."

"You didn't apologize, you just totally were ass-kissing your wife."

"What we do is none of your business."

"Ew, I didn't want to know that."

"Get back to fixing the door, you jerk."

 **xxx**

 **A/N: I did a time skip.**

Snow was beaming with pride as there was yellow everywhere.

"Mom, what the hell did you do? Why is it yellow?"

"Gender-neutral color."

"But why are there like a thousand balloons?"

"There are _not_ a thousand balloons!"

"That's not what the ceiling says."

"They reach up to the ceiling, so Regina is going to kill you."

"She's tried countless of times and failed."

Laura was in a yellow sundress and Carmilla was wearing a yellow leather jacket, but everything else was black.

"Yellow isn't really your color."

"Shut up, pregnant lady. Your wife said to dress nicely."

"You have a _yellow_ leather jacket! How exactly is that 'dressing nicely'?"

Laura smiled, "Oh don't worry, she has a dress."

Carmilla rolled her eyes, "I couldn't get out of it."

"At least you don't look like a giant lemon."

"You'll like the gift from me and Laura though."

"What is it, a mini leather jacket?"

Carmilla pretended to be shocked, "Oh how did you know?"

"Please tell me that you're joking."

"Regina would kill me and I would prefer to remain dead, thanks."

"Wouldn't that be like reanimation? I saw this weird movie and this guy like…"

Regina came into the room, "Too many balloons, Snow. What did this guy do exactly, Emma?"

Emma looked nervous, "Uh… nothing, Babe."

"I got you a present too."

"So is anybody else showing up?"

"All of their presents are in the living room and I wanted an intimate gathering with our closest friends."

Carmilla was confused, "I'm a close friend? I know that Laura automatically is because she's, well, Laura."

"Yeah you brat, you're a close friend."

"Thank you, Emma, it means a lot."

"Don't you get all soft on me because I'll start crying too and then it'll become infectious like coughing."

"Who said I was crying? I'm not crying, you are!"

"Shut up or I will start crying!"

Snow shouted, "Nobody is crying!"

The crying started with Snow first.


	6. Chapter 6

There were indeed a lot of presents just like Regina had said. There were so many that they were drowning in them.

"Help, I can't breathe here!"

"Emma, it's not even to your waist."

"Are you really making a pyramid out of the presents?"

"Carm, what are you doing?"

"I'm trying to build a castle."

"I never knew that you liked building things with giant bricks."

"For the record, these 'bricks' are _my_ gifts, Laura!"

"I knew that people in movies have so many gifts, but this is pretty ridiculous."

"If you keep talking, then your head will be knocked off by one of these presents."

"I see that you had cake."

"No shit, you just saw me eat some."

"I mean, you have some on your dress."

"I can't clean myself up, you idiot."

"Can you please stop name-calling my girlfriend, Emma?"

"She can get away with it because her eggo is prego."

"Carm!"

"What? It's true."

Emma was eating more cake and said, "Yeah, it's true."

"You have better manners than that!"

"Sorry, Babe."

"Still talking with your mouth full, I mean really, Emma."

 **xxx**

 **A/N: More time skipping!**

Emma was trying to bend down to grab her fork.

Carmilla and Laura were staying over to watch Emma.

"Come here, you stupid piece of crap!"

"What are you doing?"

"The fork fell from my pie."

"Regina is going to kill you for eating pie."

"I have a right to eat whatever the hell I want! I can't have any alcohol or caffeine, so I _need_ something to help me not lose my sanity."

"You look like a planet, dude."

"Carm, stop being so rude."

Laura went to pick up the fork, put it in the sink and got Emma a new one.

"I'm… I'm a planet?"

"Uh.. I was just kidding, Emma! Oh shit, don't cry."

Regina came in the door and heard Emma shout, "She called me a planet!"

Her wife had a fireball in her hand and almost singed Carmilla's hair.

"Hey, watch where you throw those things! You need a license for them cause you're packing."

Laura sighed, "I'm so sorry Regina, Carmilla sometimes doesn't know when she goes too far. She's just being herself."

"She needs to learn new manners then."

"I don't need to learn new manners! Your wife just has to stop crying at the drop of a hat."

Regina lit another fireball, "What did you just say?!"

Fireballs were being thrown at Carmilla as she ran out the door and Regina had set the newly fixed door on fire.

"I'm not fixing it this time!"


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: It's so good to be back and writing all over again! Thank you to everyone that has supported me and I apologize for being on hiatus for 2 years.**

 **I'm back in action and ready to kick some ass.**

 **P.S.**

 **I'm doing my best with the dialogue with Carmilla not able to have children and for me, it wasn't very easy to write, but I did it anyway.**

 **I think it's important for Carmilla to be "humanized".**

 **P.S.S.**

 **Thank you for helping me name the baby, Trần!**

Carmilla was staring down at the baby in her arms.

She had no idea why Emma would trust her of all people to hold her newborn, Kylie.

Regina had come into the room and sat in an uncomfortable hospital chair that was right next to Carmilla.

"I don't understand why Emma or you would trust me with your child like this."

"What do you mean by that?"

"This is your entire world and you trust me with such a precious gift like this."

"You look like you were meant to be a mother."

"Well, vampires aren't able to have children, no matter how much I had hoped for that."

"There are medical advancements and magic that I'm sure could possibly reverse it."

"I'd lose all of the perks of being a vampire and I'm worried that Laura wouldn't care for me anymore. I wouldn't be able to turn into a panther either or protect her from whatever harm might come her way."

Regina gave her a sad smile, "I used to be terrified that Emma would leave me too once she found out that I was The Evil Queen. For some reason, she chose to defend me each and every time she possibly could, even against her own parents, who she spent her entire life looking for."

"Do you ever get scared that she'll leave?"

"Not anymore."

"How long did it take to get to that point in your life?"

"It took me many years, but I learned that with True Love, anything is possible. My doubts were what had consumed me and ruined my life, so I made sure to stop it from destroying everything I love."

The little unnamed baby had wrapped her tiny fingers around Carmilla's index finger.

Carmilla glanced over at her tiny gay human that was sleeping quietly on a comfortable cot.

"She's my world, Regina. I'd do anything for her."

"Would you turn back into a human if you were given the chance?"

"Only if Laura wants it."

"So you choose to not have a say?"

"I want what's best for her, Regina."

"And how do you know what's best for her? You're not Laura."

"I know, but I still sometimes feel like I need to protect her from _me_."

"You'd never hurt her, you know."

"You don't know what I have done to her."

"I have done plenty of horrible things in my past and yet Emma has stayed with me despite all of it. I was a tortured soul until she came along."

"I didn't think I'd fall for a blonde anyways."

"Oh?"

"I never thought I would fall in love with my roommate. She drives me crazy, in a good way. She even threatened to strangle me, so I know it's True Love."

Carmilla winked at Regina, who rolled her eyes.

"Death threats don't necessarily mean that."

"It was just a joke, Regina. You need to lighten up some."

Carmilla gave Regina her baby to her and she saw how the mother was showing a form of love that she was envious of.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I'm going to be doing a lot of time jumps since it's much easier to write the fic this way.**

 **I have no idea if Kylie talking is accurate to how an actual toddler talks, so apologies for that!**

 **If you could give me tips on how to improve my writing when it comes to little children, then I'd appreciate it. =]**

As Carmilla watched Laura chasing after the baby turned toddler, Emma was also trying to chase down the toddler to get her into her jammies.

"Why can't you just use your magic?"

"Regina said it's not safe to right now."

Emma, who was as fit as a fiddle, was huffing and puffing like the Big Bad Wolf.

"This is not what imagined motherhood to be like!"

"Oh Dear, you have so much more of this type of fun to look forward to."

"Shut up."

"Emma Swan!"

"I love you, Babe!"

Kylie was staring at her parents with a cute confused expression on her face. She was a brilliant child that could understand things since she is the product of True Love, just like Emma was.

"No baths!"

"Yes to baths, Kylie."

"No, Mommy!"

Carmilla knelt down next to Kylie, "If you let them give you a bath, then I can tell you stories."

"Scawy ones?"

"Super scary."

"Mama and Mommy tell the bestest stories."

"I can tell you wonderful stories too, Little One."

"Otay. Baths Time!"

Emma waited a few moments before pouncing and swooping her daughter into her arms.

"Bath time for Princess Kylie."

"Knight Kylie!"

"You want to be a Knight and not a Princess?"

"I wanna be like you, Mama."

"I'm a Princess and a Knight. You can be both."

"I can?"

"You can be anything you want, Baby Girl."

"Pwomise?"

"Promise."


	9. Chapter 9

Carmilla thought the "Terrible Twos" was going to be the worst time period for a child, but she was so wrong because Kylie hit puberty and Hell broke loose in the mansion!

Everyone was scrambling like crazy to escape Kylie's magic. Emma had dodged a few of her daughters fireballs and the light magic as well.

"Had I known that this was going to happen, I would've never had another one!"

"You better be joking, Emma Swan, or I'll make sure our daughter's fireballs hit your hair!"

"Are you threatening me?!"

"It's not a threat, Dear, it's a promise."

Laura was eating popcorn as she watched the ordeal from the side lines.

"Buuuuuuuurn."

"Laura, that's not how you do it."

Carmilla had plopped down on the couch next to her girlfriend.

"You get fireballed yet?"

"From the fiery brunette or the psycho teen?"

"Either?"

"Nah, they love me, duh."

"Uh huh, sure they do."

"Shut your trap, Carmilla Karnstein and stop stealing my popcorn!"

"What happened to you always telling me, 'Sharing is caring, Carm'?"

"That only is used when I'm eating something I _don't_ like!"

"You gave me your gross leftovers? How dare you!"

"Shhh! I want to see if Emma loses some of her hair."

"You're terrible."

"Oh, I know! I get this mean streak from you, Babe."

"Sure you do. You'll never be able to wear leather pants like me though."

"Are you calling me fat?!"

"No! All I'm saying is that it's my signature and you can't take it."

"You can't do that! That's so cheating!"

Kylie was running towards the two women sitting on the couch.

"Carmilla, scoot your butt!"

"I don't listen to a child!"

"You move or I drop kick the popcorn bowl out of your girlfriend's hands."

Carmilla rolled her eyes and pulled Laura closer to her so that Kylie could plot her butt right down next to them.

"What did you do this time?"

"Mom wanted me to dress up for my ball and I refused to wear the dress my Grandmother chose."

"Which Grandmother?"

"Either one."

"Leather looks good on everyone."

"That's what I said, C!"

Laura chuckled, "She calls you, 'C' and you let her?"

"The twerps growing on me, like a tumor."

"Aww, thanks a lot, you old bat."

"It's Ancient Panther, get it right!"

Kylie smirked, "Whatever you say, AntiGarlic Breath."

Emma had her hands on her hips in front of her daughter.

"You're going to the damn ball whether I have to drag your ass there myself."

"Carmilla never had to have a ball!"

"I did have a special ceremony, actually."

"Seriously? I thought you were the cool one, C."

"I am the cool one out of all of you and the oldest."

"I think Mom might beat you on that one."

A cloud of purple smoke appeared and after it dissipated, Regina appeared.

"Did you just tell me that I'm older than a vampire? Sweetheart, what did I say about comparing women to one another?"

"But aren't you older though?"

"It depends on how you look at it, Kylie. Carmilla is well over 300 years old despite her body being so youthful."

"So you two are just old."

The scowl on both of the brunettes faces had caused the two blondes to crack up.

"Talk about cradle robbing!"


	10. Chapter 10

The ball finally arrived and Carmilla was staring at the picture of Kylie in her hand as a toddler and back up to the older teen staring her in the face.

"C, why do you keep doing that? You know it's me!"

"Yeah I know, but you grew up way too fast for my liking."

"Did Yellow Pillow Mama steal your thunder again?"

"She doesn't 'steal' my thunder, I give it to her. It's what you do sometimes for someone you love."

"Can I go out in leather like you?"

"Hell no, this is my look. Keep your little paws off them."

"They're not little paws!"

"Yeah, they are, Punk."

"Shut up, C. You're supposed to make them not force me to do this thing."

"It'll make them happy, Kylie. We have to do things we don't want to do in life."

"Why couldn't you be _my_ Mom? You seem to get me more than my moms and Laura."

"What did you say?"

"I said that I wanted you to be _my_ Mom."

"Look, you're just saying that because you know that I will give you things that they can't. Don't be such a fool and think that I would ever want a child, especially one like you!"

Kylie was glaring at her, "Yeah well it's good to know that you can't have kids then, am I right?"

Those words could never be taken back and Kylie never understood the full story about why Carmilla wasn't able to have kids.

"Carmilla, I'm so sorry. I...I didn't mean to say that! You know how I say things without thinking. Please forgive me."

"Your parents raised you better than this, Kitten."

"I know that they did. Does this mean you won't come?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world. Trust me, I'm sure I'd be a shit Mother anyways."

Carmilla walked past Kylie and went down the stairs that lead to where Laura was.

Laura saw how defeated Kylie looked in her beautiful dress.

"What's wrong, Kylie? You look beautiful and today is a very important day."

"I said something horrible to Carmilla and she hasn't spoken to me since our fight upstairs a few hours ago."

"She tends to be a private person, so I have to leave her alone sometimes. Just wait and let her come to you about the issue. It's what I have to do. Also, make sure you get her a box of Creampuffs and dark chocolate."

Carmilla was drinking for what seemed like hours and the amount of alcohol she consumed would've knocked any human flat on their ass.

"Laura, did she tell you what happened?"

"No, but I told her that it's between the two of you."

"I know she didn't mean it, but it doesn't mean it didn't hurt. It was worse than being staked."

"You were staked before?"

"Not in the heart, but yes. It's excruciatingly painful."

"You know that Kylie really looks up to you, right? You are her hero in all aspects of the word. Her Moms will always be her Moms and you're like a badass Aunt."

"I'm not related to them."

"No, but they consider us family."

Laura squeezed Carmilla's hand, who put her wine glass down on the table.

"Time to rock and roll, Laura."

"You're drunk, aren't you?"

Carmilla didn't answer Laura because she was distracted by Kylie looking so nervous.

"I'm going to go help out with Kylie. I might not be her Mom, but I'm a badass Aunt that makes leather look smokin'."

"You're so full of yourself."

"I love you too, Creampuff."

Kylie was trying to stand still as her Grandmothers, Snow White and Cora Mills, were giving her advice on finding a Prince or Princess to be with.

"Now you want them to have golden locks because then you know you found "The One."

"Snow, that's just a theory! No, she needs to find someone with dark hair because those type of people know what True Love is!"

"How dare you tell me who I should find! I hate it when everyone is picking and choosing things for me when I'm my own person!"

"Of course you are your own person, Kylie, but you should be thinking of marriage proposals too."

"This isn't The Enchanted Forest anymore though. It's the Real World! Nobody will ever choose who I date or marry, mark my words!"

"She sounds exactly like my daughter."

Carmilla cleared her throat, "Weddings are overrated anyways."

Laura smacked Carmilla's arm.

"I want to get married someday, you!"

"No you don't."

"What? How can you say something like that?"

"You want to spend your college tuition to wear a white dress and be paraded around like a prized pony? No thank you."

"You don't want to marry me?"

"I never said that. I just think that marriage is more than just a piece of paper and an expensive ass party."

"You're not proposing to me like this are you?"

"I never said I was proposing, Buttercup."

"So you _expect_ me to do the proposing?"

Carmilla rolled her eyes, "Yes Creampuff, I totally want you to propose to me when it's Kylie's big day."

"Are you two serious fighting over proposing to one another?"

Kylie's Aunts shouted in unison, "No!"


	11. Chapter 11

"I can't believe that you totally stole my moment, Babe!"

"It's not my damn fault that you decided to propose to me on the _same_ day as me!"

"Why do you two keep fighting over cute things?"

"Kylie!"

The vampire and her tiny gay human were standing in front of Granny's Diner arguing over who was proposing to who.

Kylie found it weird that her Aunts were just being their usual weird selves out in public.

After the ball, it took what seemed like centuries before Carmilla had told Kylie everything and how she did truly forgive her for her comment. It was done out of anger and Carmilla was all too familiar with saying cruel things when angry.

Laura held out a ring that was a simplistic engagement ring. It was pure black with "Carmilla" carved into it.

Carmilla went more traditional with hers and had Laura's birthstone in the middle and surrounded by diamonds.

"I bet you would've got Aunt C a leather ring if you could."

"Haha, shut up and let me propose to my girlfriend, already, Punk."

"Only if I get to be on your side for the wedding."

"You'll be standing next to me, idiot."

"Really?!"

"If you don't pop a squat or go away, then a wedding won't happen."


	12. Chapter 12

"No leather, C?"

"Laura threatened me with her Creampuffs, so no leather, Punk."

Kylie and Carmilla were waiting for Laura to walk down the aisle.

"I thought vampires can't go into churches?"

"Myth. Most of us were religious, but we didn't want to risk being staked. Plenty has changed throughout the centuries."

"Why did you choose Laura?"

"Laura was saving me from my worst enemy."

"Your Mother?"

"No, it was me."

Kylie had always respected her Aunt Carmilla, but this moment was what made her finally understand why Carmilla was the way she was and why she loved her Aunt Laura with all of her heart.

"Were you ever scared that you'd never find her?"

"Yes and it was because I had already lost one person I loved, but she wasn't my True Love like I thought she was. I thought she was, but when she called me a Monster, I knew she wasn't "The One" like Laura is."

"Did you ever have doubts that you wouldn't last?"

"Sometimes and that was my fault, not solely hers."

"And here you are, Aunt Kitty Cat."

"Yes, here I am."

Carmilla never imagined that she would find the love of her life and marry her.

"It's showtime, C!"


	13. Chapter 13

"Aunt Kitty Cat!"

"Don't you call me that, Punk!"

"You are _so_ not a morning person."

Carmilla threw a pillow at Kylie, who was standing at the doorstep.

She did have a mixture of her parents' in her DNA because she was, "one hundred percent bonafied kick-ass royalty", as her Mama had put it.

Since she was the product of True Love, her magic was a beautiful color that was indescribable because it changed colors.

"You can't just barge into my room every time you want to talk to me. You'll give me a damn heart attack."

"But you're dead."

Carmilla rolled her eyes, "Shut up."

"Aunty Yellow Pillow, Aunty Kitty Cat is being a bitch."

Laura stuck her head in, "Only I can call my wife that."

"What?!"

"In bed."

"Gross. This is meant to be PG-13, not Triple X."

Carmilla threw the yellow pillow at her tiny gay human wife.

"Hey, I almost dropped the most precious thing in the world to me!"

"I thought it was me?"

"No, it was a Creampuff!"


	14. Chapter 14

Carmilla, Laura, and Kylie were watching Emma concentrating like her life depended on it.

"Mama, if you don't hurry your old ass up, I'm gonna pull it out for you!"

"Language young lady!"

"I'm sorry Mom."

"Your mouth is worse than I thought Emma's was."

"Hey, don't blame me for that! You should blame The Brat!"

"I'm not a brat, Emma Swan! I'm _older_ than you, so show respect!"

"Respect? You wanna take this outside?"

"WE ARE OUTSIDE!"

The Swan-Mills and Hollsteins were outside in the front yard playing Jenga, rainbow edition, or in Kylie's words, "Big Tower of Gay".

It was a beautiful day outside so they thought that quality time would do good for them since they had been dealing with thunderstorms and snow lately, very odd occurrences in Storybrooke.

"Carm, I think we should move to Storybrooke."

"Do what?"

"Come on, I think it would be wonderful!"

"You prefer them Creampuffs here more don't you?"

"What? I have no idea what you're talking about!"

Laura was eating a box of mini Creampuffs as she answered Carmilla.

"You love those more than you love me, admit it."

"Aunty C, she can't talk with her mouth full."

"Yes she can, I have seen it."

"Ew…"

"We saw who could fit more marshmallows in their mouth. Guess who won?"

"Me!"

Laura started to choke on a Creampuff and Carmilla came to the rescue.

"I don't think I'll be a happy wife living the happy life if Laura keeps trying to die by Creampuffs."

Regina was wearing jeans and Emma was so distracted by that she tumbled straight into the Jenga tower.

"Dear, you need to focus or else you'll always lose this game."

"Mabe you shouldn't be wearing those jeans."

"You guys are so gross! I just want to enjoy a game with my family and all you do is make sexual innuendos. They're literally gay ones."

"Language!"

"I was using it the way it's supposed to be used, Mom! Ask Carmilla."

"Oh don't drag me into this one, Punk."

"Aunty Laura?"

"Not touching that with a ten-foot pole."

"Ma?"

"Oh no, I prefer to not be in the dog house tonight."


	15. Chapter 15

"Nobody asked me to Prom, Carmilla."

Kylie looked defeated when the Swan-Mills and Hollstein clan were together and sitting around a large dining table.

Carmilla was very confused by what Kylie had said because she couldn't imagine anybody not asking Kylie out to prom.

"It's because I'm a Swan-Mills, I know it is. I'm an outcast because my Mama's The Savior and my Mom was The Evil Queen. I'm also a Charming to boot. Just because I'm different, they don't like me.

Next time a Curse comes around, we'll see if I even try to save their sorry asses."

Regina said, "Now Kylie, you have to know that your uniqueness makes you a stronger person. You are special and despite being a "product" of True Love, you're a beautiful human being. I know that right now, you think harshly about them, but you won't.

Emma and I know exactly what it's like to be shunned by our own peers and those we thought were family."

"But you two are royalty! I'm just… Kylie Swan-Mills, a Princess in title only."

Emma slammed her fist down, "Like hell you're just a title! You're my kid and if I have to, I'll talk to the school about this."

"Grandma Snow has been trying to help me find a partner, but nobody wants to. She even threatened to take someone's head off after she heard them make a horrible comment about me."

"I never thought I would hear Snow ever say that, but she does fight for what's right."

"Can I please go to a public school?"

"It's not safe there, Kylie."

"But Mama, Aunty Carmilla and Aunty Laura went to a public school!"

"Well Kylie, that's not what a public school is like. Plus, the world was ending, like usual, there. I thought that Carmilla was going to eat me or drink from me like I was a Human CapriSun."

Carmilla rolled her eyes, "A CapriSun? I have no idea what that is, but I'm sure that it's childish."

She narrowed her eyes for a second, "Are you hiding Creampuffs in your shirt?!"

"I would never do such a thing, it's rude!"

Laura said this as she was putting a Creampuff in her mouth from inside her shirt.

"What do you think a bra was invented for anyways, Carmilla? It's a Snack Hider, duh."

Kylie burst out laughing, "Why is Aunty L so obsessed with Creampuffs?"

"They're addictive and it's Carmilla's fault!"

"Why is it _my_ fault?!"

"You took me to a French Bakery for one of our dates and had them make me a special Creampuff. Kylie, you should've seen how beautiful it was! It was HUGE too! It was so big that I thought it was another human being!"

"The bigger, the better."

"So Kylie, if you don't have someone to bring to Prom with you, who do you want to come?"

"Carmilla."

"What Why can't I be chosen?! I thought I was your favorite Aunt."

"Sorry Aunty L, but Aunty C gets me more than you do. Plus, she has a lot of cool leather stuff!"

"Who said you can borrow anything of mine?"

"Please Aunty C?"

"Ask your parents."

"But…"

"They have to approve of the outfit before we send you out to your school. The last thing I need is for them to break down my apartment door, AGAIN."

"They broke it down?"

"That is so not what happened, Carmilla!"

"Yeah it was, Mama Bear!"

"I'll rearrange your face, Brat."

"Bring it!"

Kylie knew that they were just bantering and it was what made every woman at the table her family.

Laura looked at Kylie and said, "Her eyes are like mood rings."

"What?"

"They change colors depending on your mood. Dammit, I wish I had magical powers or was special like all of you. I have my Creampuffs and Tardis Coffee Mug. How am I special?"

"You're special because you're mine and also the person that saved me. Nobody is more precious to me than you are, Laura."

"Barf."


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: My goal is to make time jumps because it's easier for me to keep up the crazy shenanigans!**

 **The writing process is weird for me because I'm very rusty in writing fanfiction or writing in general. ^^;**

 **Thank you to everyone reading my fic. =]**

"Ma! Mom! I got letters!"

"What letters?"

Carmilla was reading _Carmilla_ to her wife on the Swan-Mills' couch.

"What are you two doing here?"

"We're here because our apartment had an accident."

"By accident, she means she attempted to make Creampuffs and burnt the thing down."

"I didn't burn the apartment down!"

"We were evicted immediately."

"That's so not how that works."

"You talk about special abilities…"

"Shut up, Carm! Okay Kylie, what's the big news?"

"I want to go to college and I just got my college acceptance letters. It took forever to get my folks to allow me to apply. You know how Mom is worried about me going out into the real world. Ma isn't as nervous though because she said if I'm anything like her when she was younger, then I'd be good to go. Minus the hijacking someone's yellow bug and stuff."

"Hey, we don't talk about my criminal past here, Kiddo."

"Sorry, Ma."

"Carmilla set a police car on fire once."

"It was an _accident_."

"Don't you mean an assident?"

"Language, young lady!"

"Mom, it's just a mispronunciation."

"Of course it was. We both know who you get your pirate's mouth from."

"Carmilla."

"It wasn't me."

"It can't be yours truly, I'm The Savior."

"Savior my…"

Kylie shut her mouth once she saw her Mom, Regina, The Former Evil Queen, glare at her from across the room.

"Come on, let's open these suckers up!"

They all went to the dining room table and had them spread out.

"Now Kylie, whatever these college acceptance letters say, you're a smart and wonderful person, got it?"

"I got it, Ma, thanks."

Kylie took a death breath before carefully opening each letter.

She was too nervous to read them, so she gave them to the four women around her.

"Okay guys, tell me the damage."

A few minutes had passed before there were beaming smiles all around.

"You got into all the schools you gave me!"

The other three nodded in agreement.

"She got into our University, Carm!"

"What?"

"The school still exists. It says that it needs a new Dean also. Want to go back?"

"Hell no, Buttercup! I lost you there. We're not going back to that place."

"But that was my first pick, Aunt Carmilla."

"Why?"

"I wanted to graduate from the university that my aunts are alumni in. They seem to accept everyone there, no matter if they're magical beings or vampires."

Regina said, "I will only allow her to go if you two go with her."

"Think about it, Carm! We could re-enroll and become roommates all over again."

"Oh God no!"

"Hey, I take offense to that!"

"I already have gone through college so many damn times."

"You never got your Doctorate in Philosophy though and I know how much you want to be known as, 'Doctor Karnstein'! Plus, it sounds pretty hot."

Emma laughed, "Now I know how Kylie feels when she sees us doing that to her, Regina."

"Silas University was a grand adventure minus the whole "End of The World" and all that jazz."

"Carmilla, have you thought of taking The Dean's position?"

"Laura, you know I can't do that. Too many bad memories."

"I think they would love to have you back. You did save your Mother and I'm sure that the Goddess would want you to take her place."

"I don't know if I have the qualifications."

"How many times have you attended Silas anyways?"

"You don't want to know, Snickerdoodle."

"Please never call me that again! It sounds so bad."

"Creampuff?"

"The best."

"Buttercup?"

"You should call her _Princess_ Buttercup after _The Princess Bride_."

Laura and Kylie high-fived while Carmilla looked utterly confused.

"After who?"

"You need a lot of Pop Culture Education, Aunty C."

"I need no such thing!"

"It's a book."

"Oh, I'd love to read that then."

"I'll give you my copy on one condition."

"What's that?"

"You attend school with me."

Carmilla knew that Kylie never let anybody borrow her possessions, so she agreed.

"I'm going to regret this, aren't I?"

"College, here we come!"


	17. Chapter 17

"Carm, they gave us our old dorm room back!"

Laura was so excited about returning to Silas University that she started to decorate it as soon as possible.

"I found the old dorm things that you kept so I'm going to make it look exactly the way it did all those years ago."

"Kill me, Kylie."

"I can't, you're already dead, Aunty C!"

"Don't call me Aunty C here!"

"What do I call you then? Aunty Kitty Cat?"

"Carmilla would be perfectly fine."

"This is just super weird for me."

"You want to know what else is weird?"

"What?"

"That I'm going to be the Dean at my old University. It's like having my own throne. My Mother never skipped out on having the finest things."

"So I'm rooming with Aunty L?"

"Regina specifically told me that I had to be your roommate because Carmilla will be Dead and working on her Ph.D. in Philosophy."

"I can get away with anything then?" Kylie said with a grin on her face.

"Hell no. You'll be treated the same and punished the same as the others. No favorites."

"Not even for me, your lovely wife?"

"No favorites!"

Carmilla sighed, "You two are going to end up in my office more than I would like."

"Can we have lunch together at least, Babe?"

"If you don't bring your damn Creampuffs, then you can have lunch with me."

"Thank God that Laf and Perry made me Creampuffs that can never go back!"

A few weeks had gone by and the three of them had a routine down pat.

Carmilla would help Kylie with her magic while Laura watched eating Creampuffs.

They would all have a private lunch together.

By the time Kylie's exams came up, Laura was actually studying and not stuffing her face with Creampuffs, at least this once.

The three of them were in the Hollstein's old dorm room and were relaxing.

"We're going to celebrate your first semester together with Creampuffs!"

"We could celebrate them with beer too!"

"Your folks would have my teeth if they heard that."

"Are you scared of my parents, Aunty C?"

"The only person I'm scared of is dead, so no."

"She is so scared of them, but she's too much of a cool cat to admit it!"

"I'm _not_ scared of two magical women, okay?"

"Liar, Aunty C."

"Do you think that calling me that will make me feel any less ancient?"

"Don't worry Babe, I got your back."

"You love those Creampuffs more than me!"

"No, I don't!"

Laura said this as she had Kylie magic her an infinite amount of Creampuffs.

Emma and Regina were using the large TV in the living room to review Laura's old videos that were filmed while Laura and Carmilla attended Silas University for the first time.

"No wonder Carmilla said not to send her there! We should go get her immediately."

"Regina, we can't always go save our princess from every bad thing. Do you remember what happened when she scraped her knee? I think you didn't let her outside for a week because you wanted to make sure she wouldn't have a scar.

Hell, you were even more cautious with her than with Henry."

"I was very careful with Henry as well, but you weren't there to see it. I know that Kylie is a tough woman, but when she was a little girl, I was so scared that her magic would've come alive and scare her."

"If I remember correctly, she was so excited about her magic that she kept pretending to be Hermione from Harry Potter. Do you remember when I had one custom made just for her? She tried to kill me, literally, with that spell."

"Thank Goodness that Harry Potter isn't real and she couldn't pronounce any of the spells correctly or else we'd both be dead several times over."

"You worry too much, Regina."

"I have every right to be concerned about our daughter's well-being."

"I know, but she's a grown woman and there are times where you have to let her go."

"When did you become so full of wisdom?"

"Full of wisdom? I'm just full of Creampuffs."

"Not you too!"


	18. Chapter 18

Emma and Regina were waiting at the doorstep of Silas University's Dean's office. They had knocked three times and Carmilla opened the door to let them in.

Regina sat down on one chair, Emma took the other, and Carmilla sat in her Mother's old chair that looked more like a throne than an office chair.

Regina said, "So what exactly have you been teaching our daughter? We couldn't find a curriculum online."

"She's learning the basic university curriculum and is having special magic lessons on the side. Laura and I have been helping her with her magic."

"How is Laura able to help her?"

"Laura tried to volunteer as the guinea pig, which I completely refused to allow to happen. She agreed to help Kylie with magic spells that don't involve transforming her into anything. After all, my wife has a good heart and wants to help everyone. She saved my life by showing her kindness and bravery."

Emma gave a sigh of relief, "Good to know that my Kid isn't turning your wife into anything that could be dangerous."

"I would never allow such a thing, Emma."

"She could've turned her into a giant pink elephant or something!"

"I doubt she'd do anything like that, Dear. At least not intentional."

"Looks like I better give you two the tour of campus so you know she's safe."

"Are you the only vampire on campus now?"

"I make sure that when each student enrolls, they tell me exactly what they are. Laura and your daughter are the only humans that have been on campus in a long time. My two friends, Laf and Perry, are professors here teaching their own classes. Laf has a cyborg eye and Perry is the love of their life. They also have their own company and do everything they can to accommodate each student with their own needs."

"It seems like you're settling into your new job as Dean very well."

"Yes Regina, I am. I didn't think this was the role I would play, but apparently, the universe wanted me to come back here. I'm sure you saw Laura's old videos about what happened during our time when we attended this university."

"I admit that it was highly addictive watching them."

"Laura does that to people, I guess."

Emma cleared her throat, "Where is the cafe'? I'm starving and can't wait to eat Creampuffs."

"She got you addicted to it too?"

"Yep and Regina cannot stop me either! She sure as hell can't arrest me because I'm sherriff and I can't arrest myself."

"I don't want to hear you hinting at anything, Blondie!"

"Shut up, Miss Bossy Pants!"

Back at the dorm, Laura and Kylie were wreaking havoc together by performing the magic they told Carmilla that they wouldn't.

"So this should turn me into a giant cat like Carmilla, right?"

"Yep, assuming we did all the ingredients the right way."

"You triple checked this, didn't you?"

"Of course I did! I don't want Aunty C crawling up my ass about this."

"She won't if you don't mess up."

"Bottoms up!"

Before either of them were able to take a drink of their concoction, their door was blasted off the hinges.

"Kylie Angel Swan-Mills, you put that damn potion down right now or so help me, I'll drag your ass right back home!"

Laura had a fireball, that came from Regina, fly at the potion in her hands, and it dissolve into nothingness. The weirdest part was that the fireball never hurt her at all.

"Laura, what the hell? I thought you told me that you wouldn't do anything so foolish! What if you drank that and something dangerous happened? What if it made you severely ill or killed you? I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

"You're technically not living so…"

"Laura, this isn't something to joke about!"

"You know that you just destroyed our front door right?

Kylie chuckled, "That's Karma and she's a bitch."

"Language, young lady!"

"Sorry, Mom, but it needed to be said."

"Kylie, we had one rule and you broke it."

"Sorry Aunty C, but Laura and I have been doing this for a while now, so I thought we had it down pat."

"Have done what for a while?"

"This….?"

Laura had a sheepish grin, "Well, you see, you were out and she needed to ace her exam."

"You two were going to put each other in danger to ace an exam?!"

"She needs to get good grades and you know she's brilliant."

"I know for a fact that magic isn't permitted on campus. Anybody using it, especially against the Dean's wishes, can be expelled."

"But it was harmless! I only turned Aunty L into a bunny rabbit ONCE."

"You did what?!"

Laura covered Kylie's mouth.

"What she meant was that she thinks I'm cute and adorable _like_ a bunny rabbit."

Kylie nodded.

"Your Mother and I will be supervising your magic adventures from now on."

Kylie looked nervous, "Sorry Moms and Aunty C. I just wanted to be as good as my moms, you know?"

Regina's voice softened, "We understand, Sweetheart, but you need to be more careful. If you got hurt, then I know that Carmilla wouldn't be able to forgive herself. She has the rules to protect everyone on campus."

Emma sighed, "Plus, the school would probably be closed down officially if someone got hurt from magic."

"Well, I didn't mean any harm and nobody got hurt except our door."

Laura pointed at Carmilla, "You broke it, so you fix it."

"I'm the Dean, you can't tell me what to do, Laura."

"I'm your _wife_ and I sure as hell can!"


	19. Chapter 19

"Look at our baby girl on stage, Regina!"

"I see her, Dear."

"She's graduating college and didn't set the university on fire, I'm so proud of her!"

"I'm proud of her for different reasons, Emma."

"Shh, she's going to say her speech."

"Are you really _shushing_ your wife?"

"Carmilla, what are you doing down here? As the Dean, aren't you supposed to be up there on stage?"

"I had my lovely wife take my place."

"But she's graduating too as well as Kylie."

"Exceptions can be made."

"I graduated, Babe! Look at this pretty diploma!"

Laura had it so close to Carmilla's face that she could smell the ink.

"Creampuff, I'm so proud of you."

"Why'd you give me _your_ speech?"

"I need to stay mysterious somewhat, don't I?"

Kylie snorted, "Mysterious my ass. Everyone knows who you are."

"Language, Dear."

"Let her have it this once, Regina. She's a college graduate!"

Emma and Kylie high-fived.

"What happens next in my life though?"

"We're celebrating with Creampuffs!"

"Aunty L and her Creampuffs are going to be the death of all of us."

"Don't bring up Creampuffs anymore!"

"Babe, we need a lot of Creampuffs because you can never have enough!"

"According to you, we can't. According to me, we would have enough. You need Creampuff Rehab or something."

"Babe!"

"It's true!"


	20. Chapter 20

Carmilla and Laura were loving the experience of being Aunts.

They were both lying in bed and Laura was snuggled close to Carmilla.

"Carmilla, do you think that we'd be good at being parents?"

"What do you mean, Laura?"

"Well, magic is possible here and maybe it can reverse that one part of being a vampire that stops you from having children."

"That's taking away everything that makes me a vampire, Laura. It's become a part of my identity and I have had to accept the fact that children aren't a possibility for me."

"What if we see if the "True Love" magic is real?"

"Are you doubting that what we have _isn't_ "True Love"?

"No, not at all! It's just how Emma and Regina had Kylie. Do you think we should try it?"

"I don't know, Laura. What if it doesn't work and we end up disappointed?"

"It can't hurt to try. Miracles happen every day."

"Just like you finding me was a miracle in itself."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I never thought I would find someone like you, Laura. I spent all this time so very alone and then you came into my life, changing me for the better."

"Let's at least try, please?"

"We'll talk to Emma and Regina about it."

—

"You don't "poof" a baby, Laura!"

"But you "poof" here and there, Emma."

"I'm not going over "The Birds and The Bees" with you!"

"Emma, she's not a child!"

"Carmilla, I know, but The _Magical_ Birds and Bees are a whole other ball game."

"Laura and I want our own child, Emma. I don't see why this is such a problem."

"It can be very dangerous if the potion isn't done correctly."

"I'd prefer Regina do it then."

Regina smiles, "I would be most honored to help you, Carmilla, but Emma is right. I don't want to risk anything."

"Our _True Love_ is just as true as yours, so can you please help?"

"We'll talk about it first and see what can be done."


	21. Chapter 21

Regina was pacing back and forth in her volt trying to think of what the best potion to use. Each one had their risks and magic always comes with a price. She was so frustrated that she kept throwing bottles over her head or up against the wall. For every one that hit their target, multiple colors would appear and evaporate just as quickly as they came.

"I can't do this, Emma!"

Emma, Regina's beautiful blonde girlfriend was leaning against the volt door in her red leather jacket and jeans that hugged her every curve.

"You can't help them or you're choosing not to help them?"

"It's so dangerous, Emma. What if I give the wrong potion and one of them has a horrible thing happen to them?"

Emma walked over to her girlfriend and held onto the brunette's hands, "Hey, everything is going to be okay, Regina. Sure, Carmilla was a bit angry, but I know that she trusts you and besides, we're family. We never give up on each other."

The Swan-Mills couple walked up the stairs hand in hand with one another and walked towards their house where Kylie was reading a book while the Hollsteins were snuggling together on a sofa.

"Can you two be gross somewhere else?"

"Hey Special K, don't you have to finish your book?"

"Maybe I'd finish my book if _someone_ wasn't distracting me with being all cute with their wife."

Laura rested her head on Carmilla's shoulder and was dosing off when she saw Emma and Regina.

Regina sighed, "I don't want to take a risk of using magic and harming one of you. I did have Emma doing research prior to her coming to visit me in the volt and I think we found a solution."

"What is it?"

"There's a blood ritual we can do."

"Carmilla?"

"Yes, Laura?"

"Are you sure that you want to go through with this?"

"Laura, I know you want to have kids and watch them have grandbabies. I don't want it to be unfair that you won't be able to do that because of me."

Laura held Carmilla's face in her hands, "I'm happy because I found you and I love you more than anything in the universe, even more than my Doctor Who mug. If it can hurt either of us, I'm okay with adopting. There are plenty of children that need a safe and happy home. I know we can do that at least."

Carmilla wiped away the tears that were falling down her face. This beautiful creature before her was everything she ever wanted and needed."

Emma let out a sigh of relief, "I'm so thankful that you two didn't try the blood ritual because I don't do blood."


	22. Chapter 22

Regina decided to try a spell that would see if either woman was compatible with the blood ritual. It turned out that neither were, so the two went to investigate the options they had with adopting a baby of their own.

The older brunette smiled, "I adopted Henry all by myself and he was a handful! He was worth it though."

"A baby boy or a baby girl?"

"Whichever you want, Laura."

"A baby boy it is then! I have so many names picked out already."

Carmilla would roll her eyes at the idea of Laura picking names, but it was too adorable of a moment to do it.

Instead, she put her hand on top of Laura's.

"It's time, Babe!"

—

After many hours spent looking at hundreds upon hundreds of photos, they agreed on a cute baby boy with grey-blue eyes and a giant smile on his face.

"Laura, this is very serious. You have to be prepared for everything and anything."

"I know that adopting is a serious issue, Carmilla. We talked to Regina about the whole scenario. She told us what it was like to hold Henry in her arms for the first time. We'll have that chance too, hopefully with our baby boy."

"And if we don't get that chance?"

"Then we wait until the time is right."

"When is that?"

"I don't know, Carm."


End file.
